Taking the train from where I live to Den Haag and then going further by tram to Scheveningen. Then you see the beautiful beach by walking up the hill. The sky was clear and all blue when I came up and then down to the beach. No clouds were in the air and the beach was very beautiful. I felt so incredible that moment. Almost crying. The soft sand under my feet was amazing. I haven’t felt that in ages. It was 2014 when I went to the beach for the last time. It was on the Dutch island Texel. The fresh breeze from the sea smells great. I will remember this day forever.
I felt completely in peace with myself being on the beach a few weeks ago. I was trying to find myself again. I haven’t found myself there on the beach — besides being present on the beach, but I was thinking a lot about me as a person. I lost myself in the last few years. I don’t know who I am any more, what I want, who I want to be, what I want to do with my life. So, I took the chance, when the weather got his brightest sides that weekend, to go to the beach after such a long time (I haven’t been there since five years or so).
I entered the beach when I saw it wasn’t that busy as I expected with this beautiful weather. The sea was far away. Silent. On the beach was clean sand. Love it very much. I didn’t expect it to be this beautiful. Actually, I forgot about it. I want to do this more often in the future (and not only going to the beach but other things too as well). I know I will. First I have to take care of myself. Or is taking care of myself that I am doing things with friends or alone? I’ll think about that more often I think. It is what I haven’t done much for the last few years. When I found a spot to sit and relax for a bit, then I saw the beautiful sky in combination with the sand and the sea. It gave me some kind of peace.
Things I want to do in my life are too much:
Going to the beach more often
Exploring the world
Exploring more things in The Netherlands
Learning new languages
Educate myself in whatever I like
Learning how to make beautiful paintings
Know more different cultures
Write a book
Stay writing any kind of articles I like anywhere I want to write
Stay playing the violin
Being creative and show it off
I know it is too much, but I may dream, right? I realized it is good for my well-being to do nice things in my life, but also be there for other people I care about. That’s for sure. I also know now that I may think about myself too etc…
I’m a human being too with lots of needs. So, this beach time was much needed. Thought about this a lot. About too many things.
The sand was very soft under my feet. I didn’t want to take off my shoes in the first place, but yeah you know when the weather was too hot and I didn’t think about it and had too warm clothes on? Oops… Anyway, I had a fantastic time there on the beach. I learnt to think about myself again, think what my boundaries are when to trust someone when to just enjoy life. I love that: enjoying life. Thinking about what I want to achieve in my life, what life should be for me and what is important to me. Therefore I have to get some therapy to get to know myself again.